2281 – Joe. Will. Rise.

Welcome back to Failing Fallout! It’s been a long time coming, but Joe is back in town!

After the Xbox with the ‘Joe’ save on it was stolen I wondered if I’d ever post of his exploits again, but a new game means new opportunities –  new creatures to flee from, new quests to avoid and more useless junk to sell to unsuspecting traders. Onwards!

It seems that Joe was bitten by the wonder bug, because he’s left Dog, Clover and Honest Joe’s Wonder Emporium behind him, and travelled from DC to New Vegas. Ever the opportunist, it seems that Joe took a job as a courier to make a few extra caps on his way. It’s a plan that works about as well as most of Joe’s plans – he’s intercepted, tied up and shot in the head.

But all is not lost – Joe’s lifeless body is dug up by a strange robot and carted off into the night.

Man's man indeed

Man's man indeed

Apparently the doctor I’m taken to is full-service, because every life-saving surgery comes with free plastic surgery. Joe was quite the suave trader back in the Capital Wasteland, so I pick a default appearance and then slap on a rocken mo – perfect for debonair merchant and used-car salesman alike.
After sorting out Joe’s new look it’s time to assign attributes. Just like last time Joe doesn’t get to be outstanding in any way. I distribute the points evenly as I can. I have to pick two skills to be slightly lower than the others, and I choose the two physical stats – Joe is a lover, not a fighter.

Jack of all trades, master of none.

Jack of all trades, master of none.

‘Are you sure you want this to be your character?’ No. No, not really – but then it wouldn’t be Joe, would it?
After setting Joe’s attributes, the good Doctor bombards me with a number of questions designed to determine what Joe is good at. Let me save you some time doc – running. Joe is very good at running.

What do I see? Why is 'an inky mess' not an option?

What do I see? Why is 'an inky mess' not an option?

Apparently Joe’s answers indicate that he might have more skills then I thought. After a few alterations Joe’s statistics look like this:

Got skills? No. Not really.

Got skills? No. Not really.

I then get to choose a trait – New Vegas lets you choose up to two traits when you create your character. They are like perks, but they normally have a drawback. I choose a trait that raises all non-combat skills and lowers all rest. That seems to fit Joe’s character.
After this process the Doctor declares Joe is healthy and ready to roll. He offers some information on the people who shot me, but I’m only interested in learning about them so I can avoid them. A ‘normal’ game would see the player character chasing after them to uncover the mystery of why they were shot – but Joe doesn’t care who shot him as long as he doesn’t get shot again.
Just before Joe can leave, the good doctor gives Joe a pile of items – including a gun, clothing, ammo and a note that was found in Joe’s pocket. The note lists the contents of the package the Joe was supposed to deliver – but that’s gone and I have absolutely no intention of chasing after it.

I’m not sure what happened to the items that Joe undoubtedly brought with him from DC, but the doctor has been very generous. I resolve to pay him back as soon as I can. Joe is no man’s debtor.
Because I have the ‘Classic’ DLC pack Joe also starts with a canteen, armoured vault suit and 10mm Pistol.
Well, guess it’s time to see what New Vegas holds for Joe.

Hello, world!

Hello, world!

Oh, Joe…. What fun we will have.


3 Responses to “2281 – Joe. Will. Rise.”

  1. Diggin it!

  2. The Tallest Says:


  3. Malcolm Says:

    Good stuff. Just finished “Living in Oblivion” so I needed another one of these!

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