Awwww, Rats

So, where were we? Oh, right… so I’m tromping about in some sewers, killed a rat, looted a fellow prospector, found an intriguing key and I have to resist the urge to make poop jokes.

Since the last post I’ve decided to believe in karma. That way I can loot as many bodies, kill as many puppies, execute as many harmless enemies, murder as many disabled mutants and flee as many besieged towns as I want, and I can just assume that they did something wrong to deserve it. Karma!
That wounded powder ganger all the way back in Nipton? He would have had terrible karma, even if he was defenseless when I shot him in the face.
Mutant? Killing other people’s cows. Karma.
Puppies? They were attacking people. Is that bad karma even if it’s in their nature? I guess it is, because I killed ‘em. And karma would have only let it happen if their karma was bad.
Goodsprings? Err… they… well, I guess they helped me, but… emm… I’m sure they’ve done something wrong. They must have. Karma!

So it’s a bit of a surprise when my new-found belief in the inherent morality of my own actions is challenged the moment I open the door to the next room.
Remember last time when I said I like rats, because they are harmless and delicious? Well, I take that back. Of course, when I open the door it’s not one rat. It’s not a few rats. It’s many rats. An embarrassment of rats.
And they all seem pissed off.

Charge of the mice brigade

Charge of the mice brigade

Rats? Why did it have to be rats?

Rats? Why did it have to be rats?

It’s hard to articulate the special brand of chaos that followed; there was laughter, there were tears, there was a high-pitched girlish screaming and I may have peed myself a little.

Lucky for ol’ Joe his prior assessment of the rat’s distinct lack of lethality is quite correct. The little buggers are bitey, but they can’t hurt me too bad… and that’s good because they bit me a lot. Once their furry bodies litter the ground I’m largely unharmed, but they obviously did something to my leg because I developed a mean limp.

HOLY rat-storm!

Rat Stampede!

Well, limp or no limp, my over-all health is fine and I have almost a week’s worth of rat meat to eat, so I call this one a win.
And although the room they came from is a dead-end, it contains a pack full of more stuff for Joe to acquire. Drugs and ammo are mixed in with cups and tin cans. I take it all, because a man can never have too many cups.

Defeat rats in the sewer to recover the treasure? What is this, some sort of lame roleplaying game?

Defeat rats in the sewer to recover the treasure?
What is this, some sort of lame roleplaying game?
If it is, then I want to be able to cast magic missile!

I spend the next few hours exploring the sewer system but, other than a locked locker that I can’t manage to break into, there isn’t much else of interest. Nothing interesting to take… Although it is interesting that there are clean, dry rooms down here.

Where's the loot? There's supposed to be loot?

Where's the loot? There's supposed to be loot?

The sewers seem to go on for ages, and there are frequent access points that let me stick my head up to the surface. I manage to take in a few sights, but ol’ Joe is still feeling more than a little desert shy on the off-chance that there are wasps hanging about.

I especially like that the sewage is radioactive sewage.Awesome.

I especially like that the sewage is radioactive sewage. Awesome.

Smile for the camera!

Smile for the camera!

Eventually I come across a massive flooded room with what looked like a bunch of rat’s nests in it.
Crouching on the periphery, I asked myself, “Do I dare? Do I dare risk the wrath of rouge rodents?”
Yes, I dare!

You can imagine my disappointment when there are only a small number of rats and nothing of interesting to loot.
Still, I guess more meat is good meat.

I'm batman.

I'm Batman.

Swee... auuugh... god! Get off!

Behold as I strike from the shado....auuuuugh

Or, it turns out, less like Batman and more like a plonker with a broken leg.

Or, it turns out, less like Batman and more like a plonker with a broken leg.

The tunnels twist and turn, and a subtle change starts to take shape. The sewage water and slime gives ways to tunnels that are fairly dry. There seem to be fires lit in several barrels around here that provide plenty of bright lighting. The rooms are still mostly picked clean of items, but there is a lot less radioactive water… which is a good thing because it’s been leaving an odd rash on my legs and I’m beginning to feel pretty ill. The pipboy which monitors my health is ‘helpfully’ letting be know that my radiation levels are too high.
And that growling in my gut is getting louder. I need to get something to eat.

Must. resist.eating. raw. rat.

Must. resist.eating. raw. rat.

And then I find something that I certainly wasn’t expecting. People.
Some dodgy stairs take me up to some new chambers that are quite occupied – bed rooms, living areas. There is a whole mini-society milling about under the streets of Old Vegas.

Errrm.... "hi", I guess?

Errrm.... "hi", I guess?

No one wants to chat. But to be fair, they are living in a Sewer and I can’t imagine they’re thrilled to have Joe taking a Tiki-tour through their living room.
Since no one is apparently willing to trade with me I’m getting quite hungry and thirsty. I take the next exit out…

Oh, sweet daylight!

Oh, sweet daylight!

…and pop out a manhole that’s right outside the gates to Freeside.
All that walking to get to the pipe that gave me an entrance, and the there was an entrance right outside the freaken gate.
Still, I might be limping, radiated, starving and dehydrated… but I didn’t get mauled by a giant wisp. So that pretty much balances it all out.


One Response to “Awwww, Rats”

  1. Nananananananana RATMAN!


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