Wild, Wild West

Have to say… these are pretty sweet accommodations I’ve found myself. There is no need for me to EVER go outside again… I mean… apart from soul crushing loneliness. Maybe I should go find Veronica? Although, since the entire point of her travels in the wastes is to see how people are surviving communally outside of isolation, she might not be too thrilled about coming to live with me up here… in soul-crushing isolation.
But isolation aside, this is going to be a great place to spend the next wee while.

Joe’s safe house diary: Day 1
Today I relax and feast on fruit from the fully stocked fridge.
In with the other supplies that the safehouse is stocked with, I found an old medical book that I spent the day reading. Having committed it to memory I’m now qualified to cool burns, apply a bandage and diagnose lupus.
Pop outside just to watch the sun go down over the Vegas Strip while sipping a scotch.

Bright lights gonna set my soul on fire

Bright lights gonna set my soul on fire

Joe’s safe house diary: Day 2
I decide that I should scout the perimeter of my new hidey-hole. Never hurts to memorise your escape routes… just in case you need to stage a sudden retreat.
I find a great little spot that allows me to scout most of the surrounding area.

I'm Batman

I'm Batman

Joe’s safe house diary: Day 3
I head out this morning to see what’s up north of the safe house. Sadly the road is blocked by rubble and radiated water. Head back home.
I’m a bit lonely, so I down a scotch. *sigh* At least polky will keep me company.
Drift off to sleep listening to ‘Sit and Dream’: “Dream, sweetly dream. Dream about tomorrow instead”

The goggles! They do nothing!

Auugh! It burns! The goggles! They do nothing!

My beige bear

My beige bear doesn't care that he's old
My beige bear still has four paws to hold
When it's dark and it's cold
I reach out for my beige bear



Joe’s safe house diary: Day 4

I woke up this morning and there is a strange woman in the room. She introduces herself as Doctor Luria. Apparently she travels about a lot, but often stops here to rest and restock the food stores. Nice!
She asks me if I need any medical supplies, but I’m feeling alright at the moment… other than a mighty craving for scotch.

Joe’s safe house diary: Day 5
Doctor Luria is gone this morning – must be off helping people,
Decide I should go out to explore one of the farm houses I spied a few days ago.
There are some empty crates outside, but inside seems well stocked. So well stocked that I almost suspect someone was living here not too long ago. I take a good look round and can’t see anything, so I guess they’ve since gone.
Hope they don’t mind that I borrowed their Lying, Congressional Style book.

Little house, little house. Let me come in.

Little house, little house. Let me come in.

Empty Boxes? Well, gee. At last I can retire and give up this life of crime.

Empty Boxes? Well, gee. At last I can retire and give up this life of crime.

Hey, anybody home? Because if you're not home that means I win everything in your house.

Joe’s safe house diary: Day 6
Spend the day in reading the book I found yesterday. Reading this book is teaching me a lot about the pre-war government. Sometimes what they said was different to what they meant, and the book has a helpful translation guide:
Mission Accomplished = It’s going to be a long five years
Change = Stay the same
Humanitarian = occupying nations so that you can steal their resources (for their own good)
Yes, we can = Maybe, we might
Read my lips: no new taxes = Read my lips: taxes
I’m not a crook = I might be a crook
I didn’t inhale = I ate it in a brownie
I did not have sexual relations with that woman = I totally got some
Diplomacy = Giving the intended victim an ultimatum that no one could ever accept. Usually followed by invasion (see nation building)

Joe’s safe house diary: Day 7

Did I mention I like scotch? I’m a declaring every 7th day, Scotch-Day! And it will be glorious!
huzzah!

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