Ghoul Town Showdown

I’m torn – totally and honestly torn.
It’s a bad idea. A terrible idea. And yet I can’t get rid of the idea that, if radiation killed everyone in that town down the road it means that there is a whole town there full of loot to steal salvage. How bad could it hurt just to have a short peek?

The next morning I set out with a simple goal – visit the outskirts of the radiated town, assess the level of threat and assess the level of ‘salvageable’ materials.

Suit up!

Suit up!

On my way there I pass the raided farmstead and the ranch from the previous few days, and press on doing my best to ignore the movement that Ed-e can detect running about in the desert.
The closer I get to the town, the less certain I am about this plan. But I’ve gone far enough that to go back would just be a waste of a day.

What's the worst that could happen?

What’s the worst that could happen?

As Ed-e and I approach we pass a NCR campsite – it seems to be inhabited by a rather large NCR patrol, and as they don’t seem to be growling or hungering for human flesh I figure I should probably check in with them and see what they have to say about the town.

After questioning the troopers all I’ve learnt is that patrolling the Mojave makes these troopers wish for a nuclear winter. This feeling is obviously a group consensus, because it’s about all these guys are willing to talk about.

Hi ho, hi ho - it's back to camp they go.

Hi ho, hi ho – it’s back to camp they go.

Luckily, before I give up and leave, a second NCR patrol comes arrives at the camp. While the rank and file are eager to confirm that they agree with the general desire for nuclear winter, their commander is significantly more helpful.
He confirms that the town is radiated, and goes on to suggest that it was an attack from the Legion that started it all. He then warns me that the town is basically full of death and that he has only stuck around to warn off passers-by.
It probably surprises no one that I decide to press on anyway. If everyone is dead, they don’t need their stuff!

What's a little radiation between friends?

What’s a little radiation between friends?

Looking down on the town I decide that just wondering over the bridge into the middle of town would likely be a poor strategy and that sneaking in round the back would result in fewer ghoul attacks.
An old church a little to the south seemed like a good entry point. The stream that once necessitated the bridge had long since dried up, it wasn’t too far away and it looked like there was a hole around the back of it that would let me sneak in without being seen from whatever lurked within the town.

Sadly, this carefully planned strategy did not result in fewer ghoul attacks. In fact, the moment we started away from the bridge and towards the church, a chilling screech warned us that pissed off ghouls were incoming.

To make matters somewhat more confusing, the feral ghouls that come running at us are wearing NCR trooper armour. I have to double check that these are actually bloodthirsty monsters and not potential customers.


Good afternoon, Sir. I can see by your complexion that you don’t currently utilise any moisturising products. Have you considered the benefits of a high quality skin-care regimen? Make a great first impression at the school, home or office with newoOH, MY GOD – WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY LEG?!

Just in case anyone out there has forgotten, there are two types of ghouls in the wastes. Normal ghouls are poor sods who have been dosed with radiation, but they are still pretty much human – albeit with greatly extended lifespan. They tend to be a tad disconcerting to look at for any lengthy period of time, but good people.
Then there are Feral ghouls, whom are also poor sods who have been dosed with radiation – but, unlike normal ghouls, now have an insatiable hunger for living flesh.

The reason I bring this destination up is that feral ghouls are generally less concerned with maintaining proper military dress uniform and more interested in eating your face off. Which explains why Joe might have been somewhat taken aback when these ghouls come running at him in full NCR regalia.

It does soon become fairly apparent that these are not normal ghouls. If you look really closely you can tell… normally by observing the way they try to rip your fleshy bits off.

Watch as I utilise Joe's patented 'Zombie Repellent'. Available in both .30 and .45! Pre-order now!

Watch as I utilise Joe’s patented ‘Zombie Repellent’. Available in both .30 and .45! Pre-order now!

Hey there, buddy - no point in losing your head!

Hey there, buddy – no point in losing your head!

I don’t like it when feral ghouls try to eat bits of me… but at least that’s an obvious threat. I was so busy fighting off the feral ghouls that I didn’t notice that we had stumbled into the radiated area, and throughout the entire battle I had been getting steadily increasing doses of radiation.

No, really… this was a great idea.


One Response to “Ghoul Town Showdown”

  1. Quinton Beck Says:

    Mustache, thick black rimmed glasses, fedora? Oh my god, Joe’s a Hipster.

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